Conflict is inevitable in any important relationship, but most of us never witness conflict demonstrated in ways that connect and deepen a relationship. When we are in loving relationship with ourselves and the world, connection and intimacy is actually conflict’s highest purpose. Without models for this though, we usually just play out old patterns of conflict learned from childhood and revert to ways of communicating and relating that can be painful, hurtful, and isolating. 

Fortunately, with intention, commitment, and the mirror of a coach or therapist, this can be unlearned. New ways of perceiving, approaching, and being in conflict can serve to deepen intimacy and build the most resilient bonds. Imagine coming away from conflict feeling more connected to your partner? Imagine finally feeling heard, seen, and recognized in your relationship, and making an equally fulfilling and loving offering to your partner? 

The people we call into our lives are the mirrors that show us how to love and accept all parts of us. Our relationships are portals for growth, evolution, and expansion when we allow them to be. Conflict is transformational when we accept that our triggers are trailheads into the deepest parts of us, and when met with radical curiosity and compassion, these triggers can help us overcome the blocks that keep us stuck and small. Transformational conflict is a practice that can transform any relationship in your life — most of all, your relationship with yourself.